


Vindictive.

by IggyBlue



Series: V. [1]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Getting Together, Language, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 06:28:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5732935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IggyBlue/pseuds/IggyBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Over the years, his obsession with Kakarot had morphed - from a near unbearable compulsion to defeat the man, into something unfamiliar he knew not how to name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vindictive.

**Author's Note:**

> /Climbs in window/ I'M BACK BABY

What he felt for Kakarot was a muddled pile of confliction. On one hand, after all the years that had passed, he still yearned for victory over him. Still wanted to spill his blood and swim in it, wear it as paint, decorate his living quarters with it. Yet at the same time, something about the man drew him toward something less than despising. Perhaps he'd become used to the lumbering doofus, accustomed to his ways.

As time had passed, pure hatred had changed and morphed into something less solid, more malleable. More intolerable in a mind that needed either black or white, no grey. The flux of time had changed him as a person, too - ever stronger, of course, but indeed ever smarter as well. Though, one evening he'd overheard Bulma saying something about his 'emotional intelligence', saying that he was 'stunted' in that department. To imply he lacked in any sense of intelligence was a privilege reserved only for the only one person in the universe he knew to be smarter than himself. To be second to such a brilliant first was a concession he was willing to make.

But apparently he'd not really changed all that much in personality, maybe it was that the others were used to him as he'd grown used to Kakarot. Knew each other's quirks and held them in a strange kind of regard. They were unique people, after all. They were Saiyans.

And despite the routine, the occasional spars, the usual remarks toward one another, one thing never really settled into comfortable place in his mind.

His obsession with Kakarot.

That had morphed too, from a near unbearable compulsion to defeat the man, into something unfamiliar he knew not how to name.

And whenever they shared a vicinity, now, Vegeta would (in his near-constant attention of the other Saiyan) catch Kakarot staring. At first he'd been uncomfortable, his frenzied mind spewing suggestions as to why, was he scheming something? Was he planning or devising something? But the questions, left hanging in the air, rang out and faded in the ensuing silence.

Now, whenever they shared a space, their attentions would focus entirely on one another, with a spance of air between them, stiff, thick with anticipation, near palpable.

Bulma brought it up, mentioning she'd noticed something different about Goku. Vegeta's attention had been piqued, a sudden spark of electricity between his ears, when he heard the name. He'd humphed in his usual, disinterested way. She'd gazed at Vegeta, tapping her chin - "I think he likes you."

He'd huffed, and she'd continued. "No, really, I mean -- he's like a lovesick puppy, the way he stares at you. I suppose you hate that."

He couldn't stop the smirk that rose from an indefinite tangle of emotions. It hurt just a little that Bulma had now completely lost interest in himself as a romantic partner. Not that he felt that way toward her any more, that had long passed, but he wanted to be desired. And something was tickling inside him, something that told him to seek out the man he'd been obsessing over for so long.

But he held back. If he was good at anything (and he was indeed good at many things, but nonetheless) it was self-control. Anticipation fluttered in his chest as their usual sparring day approached, a fluttering that increased in ferocity as Kakarot landed on his balcony, outside his room.

Vegeta had been pulling his boots on, and looked toward the tall, statuesque man entering the french doors leading in from his balcony. The man's posture was different today, though; he seemed hesitant, unsure. He didn't make the steady, unselfconscious eye contact he usually did. He was rubbing the back of his head, and Vegeta sat back awaiting an explanation.

"Hey, Vegeta. I know we usually spar on Thursdays, but, well, I'm not feeling up to it today. Did you, uh, did you wannagetsomethingtoeatinstead?"

Vegeta blinked. This had been unexpected. "What's wrong Kakarot?"

"Nothing! Nothing." He waved his hands in dismissal. "I just don't have it in me today. So how about it? We've got the time free anyway. Let's go eat."

"Why?" He asked dumbly.

Kakarot's usual confounded look surfaced. "Well, I dunno. Just 'cause."

"But you always want to spar with me."

"But today I don't."

"But I want to smash your head into the fucking ground," Vegeta lamented to his boots, half serious, half joking. "Life's not fair."

Kakarot sighed, nodding minutely.

"You aren't just going to laugh like you usually do?"

Kakarot's face was blank.

"Geez, you must be sick as a dog." When the words had left his mouth, he caught a glimpse of Bulma's face in his mind's eye, the expression she'd worn when she'd been talking to him about Kakarot. 

Kakarot laughed weakly, waving his words away again. "No, no. I'm alright. Just hungry I guess." He laughed again, unconvincingly.

Vegeta stood, stepping toward him, inspecting. Curious. He could almost _hear_ Kakarot's heart begin to race. The man stepped backwards. "Oh, I get it." He started. "You want me to chase you!" With a wicked grin, he started forward, and before either had time to think, the taller man fled, Vegeta hot on his heels as they took to the sky.

His own heart began to beat more rapidly, excitement growing. He fancied the role of predator. Loved the power that fear brought, that intimidation earned him. And for the most powerful being in the universe to be fleeing from him was a jolting thrill he'd not felt for a while.

They soared for minutes on end, at times dipping and weaving around trees and mountains, never thinking twice lest the other gain any fraction of an advantage. They flew for ages that whizzed by in seconds, the sheer juvenile fun of it trumping their adult sensibilities. And in time they ascended higher, air growing sparse and thin, chill increasing to the crests of snowy mountaintops.

The chase was almost as intense as a fight - in time both were breathing harder, adrenaline pumping. Finally, Kakarot, trying to climb yet higher, faltered, and with Vegeta again on his heels (almost literally), all the fight in him seemed to drain, and he sped directly, uncontrolled, toward the rock of mountain. The stone barrier approached as if in freefall, and would have swallowed him whole had Kakarot not twisted at the last moment to stop himself from hurtling straight through. _BAM!!_ A thick, masculine presence immediately enfolded him. Kakarot turned to found himself caged against the stone by Vegeta's thick arms, the wicked grin back on his handsome, princely visage.

He couldn't help but stare as Vegeta chuckled. "Caught you."

His breath caught in his throat. Vegeta - the one he desired so keenly, barricaded him in place. All he'd have to do was reach out, and he'd touch the man's face. Run his fingers along his strong brows, down high cheekbones, across thin lips. But the silence, the nerves were killing him. "What now?"

Vegeta relaxed his stance, arms falli

Kakarot shot away, laughter pealing high into the air, and Vegeta began his chase again, now with renewed vigor.

The next time he caught the taller man, he deliberately seized him bodily in his arms, knowing the game that Kakarot was playing but not resisting it. The radiant smile that broke across Kakarot's face was almost worth the pang of shame that took hold on his insides.

They did end up getting food together, at a small family-owned joint on the outskirts of the city that Kakarot had grown fond of. It was a weekday, lunchtime, so the place was quiet. Kakarot led Vegeta into the cosy dining room, ducking his head to enter the door (Vegeta being inwardly annoyed that he himself didn't have to duck). The walls were of a plain off-white colour, tastefully adorned with a sprinkling of traditional arts. Wooden tables and padded chairs lined the inside - a little outdated in style, but clean and tidy. Something about the place felt cosy, quiet, private. Vegeta liked it.

Kakarot was greeted with a warm smile, and he reflected it as if the server was an old friend. Perhaps she was. Then they were seated and awaiting a meal, aromas soon drifting from the attached kitchen along with distant chatter. There was a radio in the room as well, softly filling the room with ambient music.

Kakarot's earlier nerves seemed to reappear, and his usual talkative nature took a backseat to a much smaller, much meeker countenance. Vegeta watched detachedly as he methodically tried to tear a paper napkin into geometrical shapes. "You're not yourself, Kakarot."

Kakarot's gaze remained on his own hands. "No, I'm not." He agreed. His face had settled into something serious, something sad. It didn't suit him.

Vegeta hesitated, irritated that Kakarot was in a mood that was decidedly less amusing than usual. "So are you going to tell me all about it, or not?"

He seemed to sigh, and looked up, searching Vegeta's eyes for an answer to give.

"What was the point of asking me to accompany you, Kakarot, if you're so loath to converse?"

"It's just a funk." He finally replied.

"And what does that mean."

"It's, ah, it's like when you fall in a hole that's too deep to climb out of," Kakarot looked up and added, "And you can't fly out."

"So you're in a hole."

"In a way, yes."

"And what is the nature of the hole?"

Kakarot looked out the window, now distant somehow. He swallowed thickly, and his voice came out soft. "I just feel very far away."

Vegeta's patience was beginning to run short. He didn't like this proverbial beating around the bush. He sighed too, the start of a headache blooming behind his eyes.

"I'm sorry, you've been more than patient with me. I don't know how to explain it. Just, I feel alone and I knew that if anybody could relate it would be you."

Vegeta shrugged, okay with the implication.

"Do you ever get lonely?" He asked suddenly.

Vegeta's eyebrows rose of their own accord. "Not the way humans seem to experience it, no."

"You know what it means though, right?"

"Yes. It's a sense of sadness caused by having no companion."

"Right. _Surely_ you've-"

"No, Kakarot."

"But you're always alone. You're used to it?"

Vegeta felt generous. "When I was an adolescent, perhaps at times I was angry over it. But never sad."

A light smile graced Kakarot's lips as he regarded Vegeta's words. "You've changed a lot." There was a warmth in his eyes that was deep and knowing.

"Where did that come from?!"

Kakarot shook his head, and the friendly server arrived with food - signalling the end of their confusing discussion.

~

That Kakarot had the capacity for an emotion such as sadness would have made his younger self scoff. He'd have never expected someone so simple to experience anything but a constant ignorant bliss. He was older now, and had come to know that there was more to Kakarot than was apparent beyond his usual goofy antics. Nowadays he often found himself wondering what Kakarot was thinking about, how his days were, what he was up to. His preoccupation with the other Saiyan went unnoticed to himself at first, it was innocuous. But days passed and he noticed his thoughts drifting more and more readily onto the topic of Kakarot.

Soon, though, endless curiosity evolved into a deep exasperation. Another Thursday came and passed with another weak excuse from Kakarot. Without a challenging rival to spar, Vegeta began to become impatient, testy. To destroy, or be destroyed. Either was fine - simply to fight was a need that was going unfulfilled, and Vegeta's spirit began to itch under his own skin with the need to erupt in the form of combat.

By the following Monday he couldn't handle it. Bulma had all but thrown him out after he'd had another angry outburst at nothing in particular, telling him to return when he'd sorted out what was making him so... unlike himself. So he found himself standing in the field that approached Kakarot's humble residence, heat searing around him unconsciously with the fury of denial.

Kakarot had seemed surprised to find him there. "Hi Vegeta! What are you doing here?"

Vegeta's ki pulsed. "You are going to fight me."

Kakarot's defenses immediately drew up over his countenance, brows furrowing. He knew he couldn't deny Vegeta forever, but the desire to touch him in a way that wasn't violent had grown ever stronger and he feared that he would lose control and make a true mess of the situation. He fumbled for a way to assuage the prince's fury. "I--"

 ** _"NO!"_** He exhaled petulantly through his nose. "No more excuses."

"Please, Vegeta, give me a chance to explain."

He ignored Kakarot's plea. "There is very, very little standing between me and making a big mess of your planet. My patience has drawn thin. The choice is yours."

"Okay," Kakarot conceded hesitantly, dropping into a fighting stance. And immediately as Vegeta was flying toward him, and he felt his own ki burst around him in preparation, and there was a fist and an automatic block that his body had countered for him as his mind continued to reel.

A flurry of punches and blocks, of lunges and dodges, attacks and defenses. With each evasive move Kakarot made Vegeta's fury grew wilder. **_"Fight me!!"_** He roared. Kakarot immediately threw a fist which Vegeta caught easily and began to crush. Kakarot's ki flared in an attempt to protect his hand in Vegeta's vice grip as it tightened, and he winced against the force, looking up not to see Vegeta grinning as expected, but with an incredibly dark look on his face. Vegeta's left hook then took him completely unawares, starting to fall to the side but Vegeta holding him up by the fist.

Kakarot regained his senses and stood up straight again to face Vegeta. Their forces were flowing around them, two flames almost melding as one as they stood there. Kakarot began to taste his own blood, and tried to spit but found too much in his mouth, it dribbling in an overflow down his chin. Too much time was passing without him fighting back, he scrambled desperately within himself for the will to inflict pain onto Vegeta. He wiped his chin with his wrist, stalling.

Vegeta's eyes darkened further. "How dare you, Kakarot."

There was blood smeared on his wrist now.

"How **dare** you forget your Saiyan roots." Vegeta's hand tightened around his, and it made him cry out in pain.

Another brutal smash across the face. He coughed at the ground, a puddle of blood forming as his mouth dripped. Sweat was beginning to trickle into his eyes, too much, can't see-

And suddenly Vegeta's ki was back down, baseline again as Kakarot's ki still roared in his own ears. "A free hit, Kakarot. Hit me back." It was a test, he knew. He took back his now throbbing hand, and squeezed his eyes shut to clear them. He couldn't do this, couldn't hurt him - but he had no choice. He twisted and executed a strong roundhouse kick that newly threw Vegeta off-centre. "Hah. Doesn't that feel better?" A resounding 'no' echoed through Kakarot's mind. Vegeta continued with words meant to incite anger. "How pathetic. A warrior who won't fight. What's the use?"

Kakarot's voice tumbled from his mouth. "Is that all I am?"

"It is the essence of being a Saiyan. And you are betraying your heritage."

His head fell in shame. Surely this was a personal affront to Vegeta's pride. "I'm sorry." He responded quietly.

"I don't want your apology. I want to fight you."

"I don't think I can!"

"I have given you more than enough time to figure yourself out."

"I know, and I know why now."

Vegeta stood, unmoving, awaiting an explanation he didn't believe was actually formed.

"I... I think too much of you Vegeta! I don't want to hurt you!"

"Bullshit."

"Really. I," He looked at his hands, fumbling for words. "I've grown to respect you more. You are my prince. I shouldn't come up against you."

" **Bullshit!** " An open-palmed hit across the face had Kakarot seeing stars for a moment.

Then there was a hand at his throat, and Vegeta came in close, speaking lowly.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, Kakarot, but I want it out. Else I'll be satisfying my need for combat upon the humans and their cities."

"Wait, please-" Kakarot choked.

The hand around his throat squeezed in way of response.

"I," His eyes met Vegeta's, then fell to gaze closely upon the entirety of his face, his skin, his lips. Vegeta began to look disconcerted as he noticed Kakarot's line of sight, though Kakarot himself felt calmer despite the circumstances. His hand rose to gently take Vegeta's wrist, his fingers glided softly up to take the hand away from his throat. Vegeta's eyebrows twitched in bother as his eyes darted up again. Kakarot still held on to his wrist as it dangled between them. If Vegeta's usual demeanor was anything to go by, that he allowed this was as much of a concession he was ever going to get. He was cornered, so he acted.

Stepping forward despite the slight look of shock on Vegeta's features, he went to grab the smaller man's torso, leaning his head on his shoulder, nuzzling into the base of his neck. Without seeing Vegeta's face, it was easier to make the confession, muffled into his skin. "I think I'm in love with you."

One moment, two. Silence. No movement. And suddenly Kakarot's heart was in his mouth, and he had a sinking feeling in his stomach, he'd made a terrible mistake. Before Vegeta could move to crush his skull he'd detached himself and shot away into the sky, flying as fast as he could. Not for fear that the man would kill him, no - though now perhaps he could, with Kakarot's unusual incapacitation. But for fear of the rejection he knew he'd receive, but couldn't bear to hear.

And Vegeta was standing alone again, in the middle of the field next to Kakarot's house, frozen in place. His heart had been hammering a crescendo that was only now starting to abate. The skin that Kakarot had touched felt cold, goosebumped. Where the man had so gently held him, lay indentations imprinted on his memories. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but this - this hadn't even been conceivable when he'd come here in his unthinking fury. But the anger had been drained away with the shock of Kakarot's delicate touches, he'd expected violence and received the opposite.

He stumbled backwards, though Kakarot was long gone. Now there was nothing to retreat from but his own frenzied thoughts.

~

When he eventually returned to Capsule Corp that evening, head still cloudy, Bulma approached him as he stepped inside. She looked worried. "Vegeta?"

"What is it."

"Chi-Chi called, she said Goku disappeared, he hasn't come home for dinner. She's really worried."

He paused, scanning the region for his ki. It was distant, but there. "He's alive."

"Where is he?"

"North, outside the city. I suppose in the forest."

"Why? Did you two fight or something? How come _you've_ been gone so long?"

The barrage of personal questions ticked him off. "What I do is none of your business."

Normally she would snap back at him, but the concern on her face pervaded her voice still. "It's just really uncharacteristic of him, we have no idea what's going on and we're worried."

"He'll be fine." Waving her off, he started toward the stairs, but her voice called out from behind him.

"Wait. You haven't eaten I'm guessing? My mother's got leftovers for you."

He kept walking.

"Okay, I'll have her send them up to you." She said, defeat in her voice.

He paused. Turned. "For what it's worth - I believe he's having something of an identity crisis."

Bulma, surprised that he'd offered information, responded quickly. "That's not like him."

"You're telling me. We haven't sparred in weeks, he refuses to fight me."

Bulma tapped her chin and made a knowing noise.

Vegeta scoffed to himself, there was a critical piece of information he would never give her. "Leave him be. He can take care of himself." And with that, he turned and went to his room.

~

The next morning, for the first time in ages, Vegeta slept in. With the curtains drawn he hadn't noticed the sun rising. And bed was cosy; sometimes it was just nice to stay in place and not make any effort whatsoever. And unmoving in bed it was easier to ignore things he knew he'd have to face.

It was about 10am when Bulma gently knocked on the door, then let herself in. Vegeta openly watched her approach and sit on his bed. "Hey Vegeta."

He stared at her, waiting for her to continue.

"Are you okay? You never sleep this late."

"I'm fine."

"I just thought maybe you got sick or something."

"I appreciate the concern." He responded snidely.

"Look, Vegeta. Goku-"

Vegeta sneered and turned away from her.

"-He's still MIA. His family are worried sick. _I'm_ worried sick. We need your help."

"Why is it my responsibility to care for the half-witted man-child?" He mumbled into his pillow.

"Everybody knows that you're the only one that could possibly get through to him. Nobody else has the same impact on him as you do."

"Humph."

"Is that what it is, though? Did something happen between you two?"

He didn't respond.

"Did you see him at all yesterday?"

He sighed. "Shortly. But this is not my fault, so don't get all naggy with me."

"What happened that got him so upset, though?"

Silence.

"I won't quit nagging you until this is resolved."

He sighed loudly and made to get up. Satisfied, Bulma left to allow him space. When he'd sat up, he couldn't help but collapse forward into his bedding. He reconsidered his decision to get up, but remembered the warning Bulma had given him. Eventually he willed his limbs to move, and went to get dressed.

~

His boots made a small clapping sound as he landed on the packed dirt. It was a clearing in the forest outside the city, presumably Kakarot hadn't moved all night. Vegeta could pick out the man's figure, all broad back and formidable shoulders as he sat slouched next to a small, enclosed lake. Inhaling in a small attempt at gathering his courage, Vegeta stepped forward, noticing Kakarot's visage stiffen at his approach.

"Bulma sent me to get you."

Silence.

"She won't leave me be until you're home. So it's time to go."

Kakarot didn't move.

Vegeta sighed. "I am more than finished with all this silly nonsense, Kakarot. Let's go."

No response.

Vegeta shifted his weight, thinking, then went to sit beside him. He glanced over at the taller man, who looked a wreck. Vegeta inwardly shrugged and poked at the ground in front of him. A few minutes passed.

"So this is your 'spot', huh? You've come here before?" Vegeta peeked over and Kakarot nodded sombrely. 

Finally he found his voice, though it came to him meek and afraid. "Yeah. I like it here. It's quiet. It's pretty." He paused, breathing the clear air. "Do you have a place, that you like to go?"

"Well..." Vegeta hadn't expected a question in return. "There are a few places I go. Mostly open and high up."

"Like the mountains?"

"Something like that."

"Did you get up to anything this morning?"

Vegeta huffed. "I overslept. Bulma woke me up to send me on this mission."

"Oh," Kakarot's face fell in the peripheries of his vision. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Did you sleep out here?"

"Maybe an hour or something. I watched the stars for a long while. I don't do that often enough these days."

"Hmm. I haven't in a while either. I used to every night, when I first came here."

Kakarot looked over at him timidly. "Maybe we could do that together, sometime." He said hopefully.

Vegeta groaned inwardly, leaning back on his hands. "Maybe."

A lull came over them. After a time of gazing over the water, Vegeta spoke again. "So are you planning on staying here, or what?"

Kakarot was picking at a flower he'd found. "No, I just can't go back right now."

"And why is that?"

"How could I explain it to them?"

"You don't have to explain yourself."

"I'm not you, Vegeta."

"Take a leaf from my book then."

Kakarot shifted, his hands coming up to cradle his face. His voice sounded quieter still. "I hate this," He sighed. "I hate _myself_."

"Why?" Vegeta blurted out.

"Cause I got myself in this stupid situation. I guess I let it happen."

"Huh."

"But, to be honest, Vegeta, I'm really surprised you're here. I thought I'd never see you again. Or the planet might explode and we'd all be dead."

"You certainly jump to conclusions, don't you?"

"Kinda hard not to in my situation."

"True."

"So why are you here? Really?"

"I don't have much better to do."

Kakarot's spirit seemed to drop, though he hadn't expected any less. "You don't hate me, at least."

Vegeta remained quiet. He was right.

Kakarot laid back on the grass suddenly. "I feel better that you did come. Really, it means a lot."

"You spent the whole night, just thinking?"

"Yeah." Kakarot breathed into the air.

"A man after my own heart," Vegeta only realised what he'd said after the words had left him, and Kakarot chuckled beside him. A grin grew on his own lips despite himself. They caught one another's eyes and both of their smiles spread. Vegeta brought a palm to his face and snorted.

Kakarot giggled lightly for a few more moments, then sat up, looking at Vegeta. "Thanks. Really."

Vegeta glanced at him, and nodded.

"Could you tell me, though, what I should expect? Is it a flat out no?"

Vegeta hesitated. It had never been so clear cut as yes or no. He'd developed something of an obsession with Kakarot, this he now acknowledged within himself. It was neither hate nor quite love, it was strange. Just a strong and blatant presence within him, within his attentions or his mind. Sometimes both.

He finally responded. "It's not a flat out no." Before he knew it Kakarot had flung over and attached himself in a hug. It was a bit disconcerting. 

When Kakarot had finally righted himself from off the prince, he was sitting closer, beaming. "That's more than I could ever hope for."

Vegeta shrugged. "Good. Now are you going to return to your family? They're worried about you, as Bulma won't let me forget."

The bright smile was still there, still shining at Vegeta openly. "Yeah, I will. I feel a lot better now. Thanks, Vegeta."

He nodded again. Somehow, his emotions were even more muddled that before.

~

Kakarot's smile, his eyes, his voice - all of these reverberated endlessly within him as he sat alone in his room. He was being drawn against his will, to a man he'd once considered his nemesis. Though his own defeats at the man's hand were somewhat incomplete, interrupted by circumstance, each left a severe indentation on his ego. That such a man remained alive was an insult to his honour; his infallible, invincible Saiyan pride.

What lay before him was a choice, and he knew it. Would he betray his pride, and give in to this infatuation, for the sake of mortal pleasure and other such feelings that might come along with doting on a romantic partner? Or would he use the circumstances that had been given him, in order to vindicate his pride? Kakarot's open expression was imprinted on his psyche, and he studied it meticulously. The man was always open, of course, he was endlessly sincere - but never had he been open in a way that had left him so vulnerable. Kakarot had, in effect, abandoned all his defences and laid himself bare to attack; he had offered Vegeta his heart to do with as he so pleased.

That victory was so easy, so assured, would have a younger Vegeta going for the kill. But now he knew that the victory would be incomplete, as his own defeats had been. Victory would have been from a position of advantage against someone that would otherwise be equal. And an incomplete victory was akin to failure.

But all these were simply words, none as tangible as the man's eyes. None could ever feel as substantial as did the fist-sized presence that had gradually been taking hold of his own heart. And life was lived, he was coming to know, in the experience of living. Not in the abstract, not in semantics, or in working out and considering every possible tangent that life could take.

He had reached an impasse. He'd thought himself into another hole that left him unable to move this way or that. But to step back from it all, he finally accepted that he did have a choice, in fact it was one that he would inevitably have to make. Would he accept the hand that was reaching out to him, or would he reject it? Would he take Kakarot's heart and destroy it, with his own as collateral? Was it worth it? Was pride worth it?

It was late evening and the building had been quiet and still, allowing him space with such thoughts until Bulma let herself into his room. She shuffled again into his personal space much like she had that morning.

"What do you want _now_?" He asked, annoyed at her barging in.

"Nothing, I just wanted to thank you."

He glared at her sideways, suspicious and looking for sarcasm in her face.

"Really," Her expression seemed sincere. "I appreciate that you helped us out with Goku. You didn't have to, but you did."

"You were going to nag me otherwise."

"Yes, but what does that mean? Nothing. You could just kill me if you wanted to."

"Your point?"

"Nothing, just thank you."

"Alright."

She spoke quietly, unusual for her. Near a whisper. "Whether you like it or not, Vegeta, there are people that like you. Maybe one day you'll realise you're not as bad a person as you seem to think you are."

A moment's pause, and he looked at her from the corner of an eye. "Is that all you came here for?"

That he refused to acknowledge her praise was irritating, but to be expected. "Of course I want to know what it was all about."

Vegeta cracked his neck. "That information is not mine to give."

"What are you talking about?"

"If you want to know the nature of Kakarot's burdens you can ask him yourself."

Bulma hesitated, and Vegeta's attention seemed drawn by something beyond the walls of the complex.

"In fact, he's here now."

Bulma looked out the windows to find Kakarot having just landed on the balcony. The man smiled sheepishly and gave a meek wave at her. She gestured for him to come in, and he did so.

"You people better not make a habit of this invading my personal quarters."

Kakarot wore his trademark eye-smile and rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, sorry Vegeta. I didn't mean to intrude. I just wanted to hang out."

Bulma suddenly felt out of place, in the room with the two Saiyans, each of such mighty, palpable presence. "I'll let you two chat. Good to see you Goku."

"Bulma! Um, I'm sorry for bothering you before." Kakarot looked truly awkward.

"Not at all. I'm just glad you're doing better." And with that she left them alone.

"Kakarot, I know we ended our conversation today on good terms but that does not mean I welcome you."

"Aw Vegeta, you're assuming. I didn't come here to bother you for an answer."

"Good. Because I don't have one."

"How come? Can you not just do what you feel?"

"No, I cannot."

Kakarot looked hopeful. "So you _do_ feel something."

Vegeta scowled. The man was gaining some wits, from him no doubt. "What it is, though, I am unsure. And you just said you weren't here to pester me, so why is it you are here?"

Something visibly clicked in Kakarot's head. "Oh! Right. I remembered that you were really itching to fight, so I wanted to arrange one with you. How about tomorrow?"

Vegeta paused, suspecting an agenda about this plan. "Hmm. This turn of events had my mind elsewhere."

"It might help." Kakarot offered.

"Fine." He decided to humour the taller man. Sparring was never a bad thing, anyway. "I'll see you about ten in the morning."

Kakarot gave a smile that was smaller, yet somehow more potent, than usual. "Great. I'll see you tomorrow then." He paused, and they gazed at one another for a few moments. Then he turned and was gone.

~

The morning sun shone above him, warming his skin as the day's heat began to set in. It was a little before ten; ever since he'd woken at dawn he'd been incredibly keen for this fight to come. Why hadn't he insisted it be earlier? It didn't matter now. All that mattered was that he could feel Kakarot's ki, distant but approaching, and a fluttering sensation in his stomach that sat uncomfortably between anticipation and nerves.

He'd stretched and warmed up. He was ready. He'd been ready for weeks.

Kakarot touched down before him, serious but smiling. Vegeta liked that look, it meant business. His eyes were slightly furrowed, and his grin small. He'd arrived early too.

And they sparred for hours on end, beating one another senseless and making the absolute most of their sparring session for the first time in a long while.

~

"You were right, Kakarot."

Kakarot lifted a brow in curiosity.

"Sparring did help," Vegeta explained. "My mind is much clearer now. In fact, I've made my decision."

"About... what I said? My feelings for you?" He stepped forward. He didn't want to hear Vegeta's response echoing loudly about the mountains, no matter the outcome.

"Yes." Vegeta inhaled minutely. "Give up."

"Huh?"

"Don't waste your time. I will never say the same for you."

Kakarot's face fell, only slightly, he'd expected this but masked the bulk of his disappointment. "Ah, that's okay, Vegeta."

A silence settled between them, and Kakarot stood there, head down, struggling to keep his emotions in check and faltering. Vegeta eyed him, watching for the tears. Waiting for the defeat. He seemed to be trembling slightly, this huge thing of a man brought down by mere words. Vegeta's heart pounded in ecstasy. To have caused this kind of reaction was a thrill he'd not enjoyed in far too long. That he could affect someone like this again, made him feel so alive. So powerful. And that the subject of his torment had been arguably the most powerful being in the universe, was icing on the cake.

"You are better off without me." He said, in way of solace. Kakarot's face lifted, first to listen carefully then to search for sincerity in his expression. Vegeta watched the man, eyes red and brimming with unshed tears.

"Ah." He exhaled and accidentally sobbed once, shortly, before regaining composure. "The heart wants what the heart wants, right?"

"Indeed it does. Kakarot, you are a fool."

Finally a tear broke free and trickled down Kakarot's face. "I know."

"I have done everything wrong. I have threatened your family and your home, your own life, I've said anything and everything to get a rise from you. I've mocked and humiliated you in front of everyone, for years. And you still feel that way."

"Yeah." Tears were pouring down Kakarot's face, involuntarily, now.

"And now I'm having you believe I've rejected you just for the thrill of it."

"Yeah. Wait. What?"

Vegeta raised a knowing eyebrow at him, and something clicked.

"You mean..."

Vegeta just stood there with that cocky, infuriating look on his face.

And in an instant Kakarot was on top of him, he was lying on the dirt now, how had that happened? And he was being straddled by the other man, who fell to hug him tightly around the neck. This had gone from 1 to 100 way too quickly for comfort. " **KAKAROT!!!** GET OFF ME!"

And Kakarot was leaping off him, grabbing his hand to pull him up from the ground, tears still fresh on his face, looking sheepish now.

"Don't do that again." Vegeta growled.

"Sorry. You shouldn't have done that to me."

Vegeta shrugged.

"So... you... you really, you, you like me?" Kakarot ventured meekly.

Vegeta looked away. This part was hard. Silence settled for a while before he spoke. "I thought I hated you, Kakarot."

The taller of the two waited patiently for him to continue. Prodding wouldn't get him anywhere with Vegeta, he knew.

"I thought... that my hatred was the reason I couldn't stop thinking about you." He sighed, shoulders slumping, a somewhat broken look about him now. "Hate is very easy for me, nothing else is. Its opposite... I never understood. And I don't think I ever will. But if you so desire to accompany me... in this way... know that I won't stop you."

"I do. And I will."

Vegeta glanced back at Kakarot from the corner of his eye. "Alright. I will have you."

"Alright." A small smile was climbing back onto Kakarot's visage.

"How you forgive so readily, I will never know."

"I'm- I'm just so relieved, Vegeta. I never in a million years thought you'd... let me."

All this talk was making Vegeta extremely uncomfortable. He looked away again, over the landscape. 

Kakarot noticed this, and went to reassure him, to assuage any doubt about the decision lest he change it. "We'll take it slow. I won't go nuts on you. I know you're not really comfortable with this kinda stuff."

Vegeta didn't respond, but that was fine. He'd heard.

It had been in the moments previous that he'd realised that this was what he needed. The spark of life that ignited him again. Being with Kakarot, he felt so incredibly _alive_. Kakarot was the only person that could make him feel it, and he realised now he would probably spend a lot of his time chasing the feeling. Chasing excitement, passion, purpose. Better to accept Kakarot's offer, than to recede back into the monotony he'd been living. Only now did he recognise that he'd been living very blandly for far too long. But that was going to change, now. He felt acutely Saiyan when he was with Kakarot. He felt the things he'd cherished from his past, the things that had kept him going for so long. And reducing the man to a blabbering mess had his pride swell, his ego soothed to the sting of acceptance.

Yes, this was going to be interesting.

**Author's Note:**

> I used Goku's Saiyan name because though it's in third person, I wanted it to lean more toward Vegeta's perspective. Also, I repeated their names so much to avoid confusing everyone as to who 'he' refers to, I hope it's not too annoying. Thanks for reading you sexy person!


End file.
